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Episode 7 of Belle Maternity | My Perinatal Loss and Rainbow Baby

Thank you so much to BelleMaternity, the first bilingual podcast to talk about perinatality, testimonials, and experts in motherhood in both French and English.

Jey Chemla is the host of BelleMaternity, and also an expert in the post-natal movement. She loves to use her podcast as a medium to inquire about the stories of women, mothers, and couples around the world, dealing with subjects around pregnancy, the desire for a child, PMA, perinatal mourning, postpartum, trauma, and inspiring stories for modern women around the world.

In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.

Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.

Remember friends, no question is shameful, and no emotional distress is abnormal. Thank you for listening!

Julie Barzman, Lifestyle Blog, About The Mommy Codes, Contact The Mommy Codes, Affiliate Links, Candid Motherhood, Mom Blogger, Motherhood Blog, Mom Blogger Los Angeles, Los Angeles Mom Los Angeles Mom Blog, Los Angeles Mom Blogger, Motherhood Coaching Coaching LA Motherhood Coaching, Moms Blog, LA Mom Blog, Mommy Blogger, Mom Life, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Los Angeles Parents
TAGS:babybelle maternitybelle maternity podcastbellematernitybellematernity podcastbirthMommy Bloggerparentingperinatal losspodcastpodcast episodepodcast featurepregnancythe mommy codes
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Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠
⁠
In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠
⁠
Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠
⁠
Link in bio to listen!⁠
⁠
#motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠ ⁠ In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠ ⁠ Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠ ⁠ Link in bio to listen!⁠ ⁠ #motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow

Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms…

If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. 

Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. 

One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. 

So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder.

I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. 

#rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms… If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder. I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. #rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

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Find the Mommy Codes on Instagram @juliebarzman

Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠
⁠
In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠
⁠
Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠
⁠
Link in bio to listen!⁠
⁠
#motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠ ⁠ In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠ ⁠ Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠ ⁠ Link in bio to listen!⁠ ⁠ #motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow

Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms…

If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. 

Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. 

One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. 

So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder.

I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. 

#rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms… If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder. I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. #rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
7 days ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
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