• Home
  • About
    • Motherhood Coaching
    • Facebook Group
  • Work With Me
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Search

The Mommy Codes

  • Home
  • About
    • Motherhood Coaching
    • Facebook Group
  • Work With Me
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Search
Julie Barzman, Lifestyle Blog, About The Mommy Codes, Contact The Mommy Codes, Affiliate Links, Candid Motherhood, Mom Blogger, Motherhood Blog, Mom Blogger Los Angeles, Los Angeles Mom Los Angeles Mom Blog, Los Angeles Mom Blogger, Motherhood Coaching Coaching LA Motherhood Coaching, Moms Blog, LA Mom Blog, Mommy Blogger, Mom Life, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Los Angeles Parents
Mommy Codes

FOR THE MOM WHO FEELS ALONE

First and foremost, I want to say that I’ve felt alone. Probably the loneliest I had ever been, although, I had everything I needed. I should’ve been the happiest human on earth, but creating a human comes with a lot of different emotions. Emotions filled with happiness, and other ones that are not always easy to admit, understand or simply navigate. That’s why, I’m opening up this conversation with you. It’s been a long two years of learning about myself, my health, my body, my powerful thoughts, my sadness, my struggles and my joy. This is why I started coaching. I’m going the explain further why:

1. SUPPORT

If you don’t know me yet and this is the first time you are reading a blog post of mine: Hi, I’m Julie and I’m French. Born and raised in France and moved to the United States when I turned 18, thinking I was going to live the dream. Which I am, with major ups and downs, but that’s not the topic (and if you want to know more about me, you can check out my recent interview with VoyageLA here or click on About Me)!

Anyway, where I come from, medical is taken care of. Support is a given, and formulated in ways that make pregnancy quite smooth. You’re followed up on with blood tests to check on your general health and what nutrients, vitamins & such you need. There’s support for mental health, weight gain health, maternity and paternity leave & more… Why are those important? Because they can affect your pregnancy and postpartum, your quality of life, and your sanity. There’s guidance on what to expect and just a few guidelines to follow but always maintained to not be too overwhelming.

Needless to say, I personally had a horrible doctor and thanks to my shitty insurance at the time, I didn’t have that many options (or so I believed). He was actually so bad that I spent my whole pregnancy doing research on how to not have that doctor deliver my baby and how to go to my hospital of choice. I gathered tedious information from moms and doulas to not have him deliver my son. You can’t imagine the anxiety I had, the people calling me crazy and my gut just saying, follow your instinct. Well, I did it, I was able to deliver my baby at the hospital I wanted to with a great doctor by understanding the effed up system we have here and how to get around it.

Why am I telling you this story? Because this is America for some of us. There’s boxes, there’s choices and there’s not a lot of support if YOU don’t do your own research. No one will truly do it for you. What they will do is put a lot of pressure on what’s expected of you to do right after having a baby. Some have amazing support while others don’t. There’s a lot more of us that don’t, than do have support. Which this sums up my reason #1 for coaching. SUPPORT.

Turns out: a friend-of-a-friend’s wife, along with three other women, died during delivery from the person who should’ve been my doctor. I have no idea how and I just can’t wrap my head around it. Always follow your gut. If your doctor is not there for you in ways that you need them to be, there’s options.

2. HEALTH

Pregnancy and giving birth, postpartum and taking care of a baby is A LOT. The process takes a toll and there’s so many reasons why some moms feel so depleted, exhausted, depressed, anxious and more. I was one of those. At first, I had thought, well I’m a new mom. Yes, absolutely, but what I had to do was self-diagnose myself with what was depression, anxiety and depletion because no one else did it for me. I had been vaguely asked to fill out a multiple choice questionnaire of my “thoughts” at my son’s pediatrician just for them to make sure I wasn’t suicidal of some sort and sent home.

Again, “Thanks, bye.” I definitely wasn’t suicidal but I wasn’t in the best mindset. I knew something was wrong, and the process of realizing something is wrong finding a solution is tiring. I went to four different doctors, probably more and mainly because I had no clue what kind of doctor I was supposed to look for in the first place. Some couldn’t wait to put me on anti-depressants while others suggested I just wait.

Until I found a Naturopathic one who looked at my results and applauded me for even being able to get out of bed because I was in such terrible shape. I was depleted of my vitamins, minerals, my hormones were as imbalanced as the Pisa tower (Italy) and I needed help. She actually thought I was pregnant because more than a year later (yes, it took me that long to find someone) my hormones were as high as a pregnant woman.

I don’t know if you know what too much estrogen does to you, but I don’t wish it on anyone. Although, to get there, to even question that perhaps I had ANY deficiencies. To question that any of the food or products I was using for my house or myself could cause any of these symptoms, I had to make my own research. I have never had my eyes so wide open on the pharmaceutical corruption, food industry and more than NOW.

All of this, takes time, lots of reading and lots of patience. That I didn’t quite have with a new baby. Which, this, in Australia, France, Uk…is all part of an understanding called Postpartum depletion that is absolutely common and followed through. Here, I mean, *crickets*. You’re expected to “bounce back”, “be happy”, and don’t complain because it might imply that you don’t love your kid. Like, so much PRESSURE. Also, a much healthier lifestyle is provided to keep people safe. Here, it’s backwards, unless something makes someone sick and goes through years of testing and is finally agreed upon to being dangerous, then will it be taken off the shelves….So do you want to be your own health advocate? Why is it a luxury here? Information and knowledge is truly powerful. Reason #3 for coaching. Because momma, there’s lots to heal and you’re not alone.

3. FAMILY

As they say, “it takes a village” and it’s true. Some cultures will move mountains to help when there’s a new baby. While other cultures it’s a little bit less “put together.”. Another reason why I felt so alone is because we don’t have immediate family living nearby. And my first few months were brutal, that’s actually an understatement. But looking back and analyzing what I’ve gone through and those feelings of helplessness. Realizing that it was brutal not because I didn’t have someone picking dirty laundry or doing the dishes. I mean, I actually had help in that area, it was because I had no freaking clue what I was doing. I felt like I had delivered a baby and rolled out in a wheel chair at the hospital’s exit sign with a “Thanks and good luck.”….

Now what? I had to figure it all out on my own with Kyle. Through tears, fear and exhaustion and massive, I mean massive flow of opinions, comments, some very helpful life saving advice and some Susans that couldn’t help it with their comments “oh just wait! This is nothing.” (Right now, my eyes are rolling so far back I can see the back of my head.)

Anyway, THIS type of situation shouldn’t have to be this way. I shouldn’t have cried because my son had his first hiccup/burp at the same time and called my dad in tears. It should feel like someone is taking your hand through it, like you feel prepared and supported. I envied so badly, new mothers that had the chance to have their own mom by their side to show them everything, and still with that, we can still fell pressured and not guided. This is reason #2 for coaching because you shouldn’t have to feel alone.

4. RELATIONSHIP, MOTHERHOOD & OTHER LITTLE DISASTERS

I’m kidding, not of these things are disasters but they can be. When you’re lost, sad, not yourself, exhausted, overwhelmed. Your world doesn’t function correctly. And if your world doesn’t function correctly; your relationship and parenting doesn’t either. Kyle and I had so much to learn, re-learn and boy do your own discomforts and traumas and undealt-with things come out. Changes and not understanding certain emotions you’re going through is so challenging. Pressures of society, pressures of parenting, pressures on being a good partner, pressures on being happy. It’s heavy, so heavy. I invested in a life coach & therapy which was one of the best investments I’ve have made for myself. I realized how much I needed to build MY OWN village to be the mom, partner and woman I want to be. Yes, I did and I’m still doing. Reason #4 for coaching because the help I’m getting helps me so much. It wakes me up, motivates me and when I’m down, I know I have a support system to turn to. And I want to give that back.

I am here to talk! I am here to help! if you want to contact me or book your free session with me, CLICK HERE.
Julie Barzman, Lifestyle Blog, About The Mommy Codes, Contact The Mommy Codes, Affiliate Links, Candid Motherhood, Mom Blogger, Motherhood Blog, Mom Blogger Los Angeles, Los Angeles Mom Los Angeles Mom Blog, Los Angeles Mom Blogger, Motherhood Coaching Coaching LA Motherhood Coaching, Moms Blog, LA Mom Blog, Mommy Blogger, Mom Life, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Los Angeles Parents

0 Comments
Share

You May Also Like

AUTISM: GUEST MOM OPENS UP

November 9, 2018

Episode 32 of The Fertile Life Podcast

March 24, 2022

STILLBIRTH & PREGNANCY LOSS – MY LABOR STORY

October 8, 2021

Leave a Comment Cancel Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post
HOW TO MAKE YOUR KID THE BEST TRAVELER
Next Post
SELF WORK: 10 TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
Hi, I’m Julie.

Hi, I’m Julie.

I'm living my most authentic life as a mom, as a partner, as a multi-cultural learner, and sharing every moment with you along the way.

I’m joining you from

I’m joining you from

Los Angeles, United States

Follow On Instagram

Here are three things I wish someone told me to prepare before coming home from the hospital with my newborn. I learned this all through lived experiences. ⁠
⁠
👉🏼 Set up a postpartum shelf on wheels with all my healing needs- most is provided by the hospital. Having everything on deck and reachable when needed, especially during exhausting times is very helpful.⁠
⁠
👉🏼 If breastfeeding, the first thing I did is contact a lactation consultant. Every breastfeeding journey is different with each baby and sometimes can be too daunting with do’s and don’t. This gave me direction and a following game plan.⁠
⁠
👉🏼 Take really good care of my nipples and have prepped meals- healthy meals that I froze prior and coconut oil for nipples and nipple shield cups were everything while my skin got used to feeding.
⁠
Do you have anything to add to this list?⁠
⁠
#postpartum #newborn #postpartummom #candidmotherhood⁠
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are three things I wish someone told me to prepare before coming home from the hospital with my newborn. I learned this all through lived experiences. ⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 Set up a postpartum shelf on wheels with all my healing needs- most is provided by the hospital. Having everything on deck and reachable when needed, especially during exhausting times is very helpful.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 If breastfeeding, the first thing I did is contact a lactation consultant. Every breastfeeding journey is different with each baby and sometimes can be too daunting with do’s and don’t. This gave me direction and a following game plan.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 Take really good care of my nipples and have prepped meals- healthy meals that I froze prior and coconut oil for nipples and nipple shield cups were everything while my skin got used to feeding. ⁠ Do you have anything to add to this list?⁠ ⁠ #postpartum #newborn #postpartummom #candidmotherhood⁠
11 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
My little bird 🥰⁠
⁠
#mommaoftwo #candidmotherhood #themommycodes #losangelesblogger #postpartumjourney
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
My little bird 🥰⁠ ⁠ #mommaoftwo #candidmotherhood #themommycodes #losangelesblogger #postpartumjourney
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
I can't look at my rainbow baby ⁠
without thinking of my angel baby. ⁠
⁠
I can't think of my angel baby⁠
without thanking for our rainbow baby. ⁠
⁠
There isn't a world or heaven where a child is replaceable. 💔⁠
⁠
The more I care for Zoë, the more my heart breaks for what happened to my little Blake. Grief of a child is the most awful thing I’ve ever had to go through and that has forever changed me. Holding him, kissing his little nose, birthing him for hours and having to let him go is my biggest heartbreak that keeps on hurting. 

While I get to hold my beautiful rainbow baby, my beautiful miracle, while I observe all of her…her eyes, her nose, life through her expressions and smile…I take it all in but my heart and body can constantly feel the hole of these moments that I’ll never get to have with him. 

To anyone who’s survived such a devastating loss…my heart knows how you feel at night when you close your eyes. My arms are wrapped around you. 

#postpartum #rainbowbaby #themommycodes #grief #letstalkaboutgrief
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
I can't look at my rainbow baby ⁠ without thinking of my angel baby. ⁠ ⁠ I can't think of my angel baby⁠ without thanking for our rainbow baby. ⁠ ⁠ There isn't a world or heaven where a child is replaceable. 💔⁠ ⁠ The more I care for Zoë, the more my heart breaks for what happened to my little Blake. Grief of a child is the most awful thing I’ve ever had to go through and that has forever changed me. Holding him, kissing his little nose, birthing him for hours and having to let him go is my biggest heartbreak that keeps on hurting. While I get to hold my beautiful rainbow baby, my beautiful miracle, while I observe all of her…her eyes, her nose, life through her expressions and smile…I take it all in but my heart and body can constantly feel the hole of these moments that I’ll never get to have with him. To anyone who’s survived such a devastating loss…my heart knows how you feel at night when you close your eyes. My arms are wrapped around you. #postpartum #rainbowbaby #themommycodes #grief #letstalkaboutgrief
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
Hello friends! I'm Julie from The Mommy Codes. I introduce “mom life” codes throughout pregnancy and motherhood with a mission to bring more postpartum support, gentle parenting, traveling with children and exploring topics in a multi-cultural way and judgement free to help navigate motherhood as authentically as possible. ⁠
⁠
Thank you for being here and following along on this journey. 🥰⁠
⁠
#themommycodes #candidmotherhood #postpartumjourney #postpartumhealth
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Hello friends! I'm Julie from The Mommy Codes. I introduce “mom life” codes throughout pregnancy and motherhood with a mission to bring more postpartum support, gentle parenting, traveling with children and exploring topics in a multi-cultural way and judgement free to help navigate motherhood as authentically as possible. ⁠ ⁠ Thank you for being here and following along on this journey. 🥰⁠ ⁠ #themommycodes #candidmotherhood #postpartumjourney #postpartumhealth
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Recent Posts

  • baby codes, shopping codes, the mommy codes, julie barzman, my must have for baby, newborn baby

    Shop My First Months MUST Haves

    May 23, 2022
  • Conceiving after Loss, Pregnancy After Loss, PAL, Pregnancy, Julie Barzman, The Mommy Codes

    Navigating Pregnancy After Loss

    April 18, 2022
  • The Fertile Life Podcast, Dr. Shahin Gzadir, Fertility Expert, Fertility Podcast, Postpartum, pregnancy

    Episode 32 of The Fertile Life Podcast

    March 24, 2022

Search

Categories

Archives

Find the Mommy Codes on Instagram @juliebarzman

Here are three things I wish someone told me to prepare before coming home from the hospital with my newborn. I learned this all through lived experiences. ⁠
⁠
👉🏼 Set up a postpartum shelf on wheels with all my healing needs- most is provided by the hospital. Having everything on deck and reachable when needed, especially during exhausting times is very helpful.⁠
⁠
👉🏼 If breastfeeding, the first thing I did is contact a lactation consultant. Every breastfeeding journey is different with each baby and sometimes can be too daunting with do’s and don’t. This gave me direction and a following game plan.⁠
⁠
👉🏼 Take really good care of my nipples and have prepped meals- healthy meals that I froze prior and coconut oil for nipples and nipple shield cups were everything while my skin got used to feeding.
⁠
Do you have anything to add to this list?⁠
⁠
#postpartum #newborn #postpartummom #candidmotherhood⁠
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are three things I wish someone told me to prepare before coming home from the hospital with my newborn. I learned this all through lived experiences. ⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 Set up a postpartum shelf on wheels with all my healing needs- most is provided by the hospital. Having everything on deck and reachable when needed, especially during exhausting times is very helpful.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 If breastfeeding, the first thing I did is contact a lactation consultant. Every breastfeeding journey is different with each baby and sometimes can be too daunting with do’s and don’t. This gave me direction and a following game plan.⁠ ⁠ 👉🏼 Take really good care of my nipples and have prepped meals- healthy meals that I froze prior and coconut oil for nipples and nipple shield cups were everything while my skin got used to feeding. ⁠ Do you have anything to add to this list?⁠ ⁠ #postpartum #newborn #postpartummom #candidmotherhood⁠
11 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
My little bird 🥰⁠
⁠
#mommaoftwo #candidmotherhood #themommycodes #losangelesblogger #postpartumjourney
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
My little bird 🥰⁠ ⁠ #mommaoftwo #candidmotherhood #themommycodes #losangelesblogger #postpartumjourney
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
I can't look at my rainbow baby ⁠
without thinking of my angel baby. ⁠
⁠
I can't think of my angel baby⁠
without thanking for our rainbow baby. ⁠
⁠
There isn't a world or heaven where a child is replaceable. 💔⁠
⁠
The more I care for Zoë, the more my heart breaks for what happened to my little Blake. Grief of a child is the most awful thing I’ve ever had to go through and that has forever changed me. Holding him, kissing his little nose, birthing him for hours and having to let him go is my biggest heartbreak that keeps on hurting. 

While I get to hold my beautiful rainbow baby, my beautiful miracle, while I observe all of her…her eyes, her nose, life through her expressions and smile…I take it all in but my heart and body can constantly feel the hole of these moments that I’ll never get to have with him. 

To anyone who’s survived such a devastating loss…my heart knows how you feel at night when you close your eyes. My arms are wrapped around you. 

#postpartum #rainbowbaby #themommycodes #grief #letstalkaboutgrief
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
I can't look at my rainbow baby ⁠ without thinking of my angel baby. ⁠ ⁠ I can't think of my angel baby⁠ without thanking for our rainbow baby. ⁠ ⁠ There isn't a world or heaven where a child is replaceable. 💔⁠ ⁠ The more I care for Zoë, the more my heart breaks for what happened to my little Blake. Grief of a child is the most awful thing I’ve ever had to go through and that has forever changed me. Holding him, kissing his little nose, birthing him for hours and having to let him go is my biggest heartbreak that keeps on hurting. While I get to hold my beautiful rainbow baby, my beautiful miracle, while I observe all of her…her eyes, her nose, life through her expressions and smile…I take it all in but my heart and body can constantly feel the hole of these moments that I’ll never get to have with him. To anyone who’s survived such a devastating loss…my heart knows how you feel at night when you close your eyes. My arms are wrapped around you. #postpartum #rainbowbaby #themommycodes #grief #letstalkaboutgrief
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
Hello friends! I'm Julie from The Mommy Codes. I introduce “mom life” codes throughout pregnancy and motherhood with a mission to bring more postpartum support, gentle parenting, traveling with children and exploring topics in a multi-cultural way and judgement free to help navigate motherhood as authentically as possible. ⁠
⁠
Thank you for being here and following along on this journey. 🥰⁠
⁠
#themommycodes #candidmotherhood #postpartumjourney #postpartumhealth
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Hello friends! I'm Julie from The Mommy Codes. I introduce “mom life” codes throughout pregnancy and motherhood with a mission to bring more postpartum support, gentle parenting, traveling with children and exploring topics in a multi-cultural way and judgement free to help navigate motherhood as authentically as possible. ⁠ ⁠ Thank you for being here and following along on this journey. 🥰⁠ ⁠ #themommycodes #candidmotherhood #postpartumjourney #postpartumhealth
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
Shop my must haves! From my preferred car seat option to baby bouncers, I’ve listed my baby must haves for you to shop! Send me a DM on Instagram if you have any follow up questions, I’m always happy to chat about these kinds of things. Link in bio 😘
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Shop my must haves! From my preferred car seat option to baby bouncers, I’ve listed my baby must haves for you to shop! Send me a DM on Instagram if you have any follow up questions, I’m always happy to chat about these kinds of things. Link in bio 😘
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
  • Home
  • About
  • Work With Me
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Search

© 2021 The Mommy Codes Site Powered by Pix & Hue.