Dr google and Dr Know-it-all-without-PHDs
Bye bye Dr Google and the Non actual doctors of the world. I feel like I need to put this as NUMBER ONE because omiiggeee has it been liberating to not google each symptoms that could have me spiral into a fear frenzy. If you are really concerned, call your doctor. Secondly, let the strong opinionated Nancys that have no degree in whatsoever that will tell you “do not take a bath pregnant!!!!” Sadly, My eyes can’t roll back any further than they already are at this moment. – Pregnancy and motherhood, while many women have had the gift to experience it, it is not an all-opinion-welcome- buffet. Advice is appreciated when asked for it though, and this community has more than once helped me tremendously when I needed help.
Not eating for two
Leave that advice at the door, and yes that’s my opinion and you absolutely do what works for you and if you’re hungry for two, go for it!!!! Maybe not as a « I’m worried if I don’t eat for two that my baby will not get enough nutrients » because that is simply not true.
Not buying 100 different items
I’ve realized that all baby are different, all parents are as well. Some babies will really dislike some bouncers, while others, it’s the parent’s saving grace. This time around, I’ll let my baby be the judge of that and I’ll get a feel of what he/she likes before spending $ on swings and bouncers and well…a wipe warmer…but that’s just my preference. I ended using it for maybe a week and it dried out all my wipes. Most importantly I only used gauze and Luke warm water for quite a while…(did I just save you 20$?)
Being perfectly confident and okay with my personal decisions.
One of the hardest things for a first time mother, or at least for me, was knowing what worked for us in the midst of listening to everyone’s opinions of do’s and don’ts. I actually had no idea what was right/wrong and how to not have an overwhelming fear of harming my baby over things that, ultimately, came down to MY/OUR preference in raising our child. New flash: there’s no right or wrong. (Besides the obvious like leaving an unattended baby in a bath etc…that’s just dangerous) I’ve always said this, there’s a few universal ways to take care of a baby that are basic and there’s also cultural aspects, parenting styles, baby personality styles, religious, feeding styles, sleeping regimens and so forth that comes down to OUR CHOICES. Setting healthy boundaries with family or people that will tell me otherwise is key.
Being ok with not being ok
As some of you know, this hasn’t been an easy pregnancy to say the least. Extreme vomiting is taxing and very difficult on a physical & emotional level. It is different than regular morning sickness. If you have a tough pregnancy as well for XYZ, and you might be going through something really scary or even harder, in that case, I’m a hugging you, you can reach out if you need to talk. If you are one of these scenarios, being ok with not being ok and gracefully accepting it, can be easier at times. A good cry and reminder of the rewards, that YOU are doing your best can help as well. Sometimes I beat myself up at being unable to do the smallest things; but the reality is I AM doing the biggest in that moment. Changing the negative narrative to a grateful sense of life and kindness to my body is relieving.
Refreshing my sleep & feed knowledge
I was so focused with Oliver on the pregnancy that I completely forgot to learn a bit about baby sleep tendencies, training and feeding. I had the hope to breastfeed but simplified it in my head to Boob action —-> baby happy. Clearly, it is more intricate but you get the hang of it and the good news is I totally did, which I was very lucky to experience. Although It would’ve been WAY easier, I mean wayyy easier if I had looked into a bit before the overwhelming hungry baby put on my boob and asking myself with a big light bulb, HOW DOES THIS WORK. The nurses at the hospital were great and taught me so much, but it still felt like a tsunami of information after pushing a baby out that I wasn’t quite ready for. Our situation is also a little different as both of our mothers passed and I knew that once back home, I was not going to get more insights besides my Instagram moms & books. So thankful for that, but super time consuming with a fire up my butt to feed a baby with engorged boobies! So yeah, just a bit of a preparation helps… 😉
Hope this helps!