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Your Pregnancy Checklist

I can understand how my story of losing my son may be unbearable to hear about, especially if you are currently pregnant.

Trust me, it is unbearable for me too. While I still have many unanswered questions and unknown causes, I have learned that there could’ve been VITAL questions I should’ve asked my doctors, but had no idea were needed to be addressed. Knowledge is power, advocating is essential in our health system. 

Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.

I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. 

Here are questions at every appointment that you should ask your doctor: 

  1. Would you please measure the placenta?
    Make sure it’s not too big or too small. The placenta is vital for your baby. Too big or too little maybe be a risk so it’s good to have your doctor check it but also let them know you are aware.

    Awareness is advocation is our health system. Advocation is knowledge and it gives boundaries and less chances for doctors to malpractice, therefore they’re a little more alert. 
  2. Would you please check the fluid?
    Fluid is very important. Too little and your baby is at risk. If you ever have the feeling of slightly peeing on yourself when you get up, walk, or lay down, have it checked. This could be amniotic fluid leaking. Unless you sneezed or cough which is probably pee 😂 but there is no silliness when it comes to being vigilant.

    You can also purchase test strips. Yes, it’s absolutely possible to mistake your pee for amniotic fluid as it is practically undetectable without testing. I’d say, If it happens, pay attention within the next hour or two.
  3. Would you please check the cord?
    Placement and pressure – at every appointment – asking where the location and pressure is a good idea and peace of mind.
  4. May you please test my urine?
    Urine test should be checked at every visit. Checking protein levels is very important. Usually doctors don’t fail on doing this routine test, but some do. 
  5. Would you please check the heartbeat and look a little closer on the ultrasound?
    There is no harm in asking questions like this. Movement and kicks count. A lot of confusion comes in here, the main idea is to not drive yourself crazy. Track patterns, get to know your baby, and keep in mind that babies get tried too. Let’s say one day they were pretty active and the next day they can be slower than normal. That’s okay!

    Movement should happen within two hours of every meal. Usually at least 10 movements. Unusual movement that is strikingly active or inactive is a red flag. It is okay to go get monitored. No room for baby to move is a myth. There shouldn’t be a noticeable lack of movement.

    If you are worried, you could try eating or drinking something cold, eat something sweet, and lay on your left side. Always, ALWAYS, follow your instincts and don’t be shy asking for extra monitoring.
  6. Would you please listen to my blood flow?
    Discuss potential need of baby aspirin. A very low dose of aspirin throughout pregnancy is normal. Ask your doctor to check and listen to your blood flow.
  7. Request a non stress test.
    It is okay to to request a non stress test if desired towards 30 weeks or later.
  8. Request a blood clot gene test.
    Blood clots are unfortunately a cause of stillbirth and usually revealed that a woman has a gene after the loss. To me, this is very backwards. Let’s get ahead of this, ask questions, request a test.

I highly recommend using this checklist throughout your pregnancy.

If you suddenly feel very tired, uncomfortable, swollen, itchy, or anything like this – address it. In some cases, the thought process of “I am just pregnant” is not good enough. You are entitled to ask questions, ask for additional support, and know how to advocate for yourself while pregnant. If something is tugging on you or doesn’t feel right, advocate for extra monitoring, blood and urine tests, as well as the questions on this checklist.

Thank you for reading!

My story of grief and losing my son, Blake Moon, was unfathomable. I do not wish this kind of pain upon any one. I dislike thinking “If I had known better, I could have prevented this…” though what I can do is help new mothers on their own journey. Use this pregnancy checklist throughout your journey. Trust yourself, Momma!

Read all about What I Would Do Differently During Pregnancy on my blog.

If you feel like connecting with me, please do so on Instagram. You can also check out my other blog posts here.

Julie Barzman, Lifestyle Blog, About The Mommy Codes, Contact The Mommy Codes, Affiliate Links, Candid Motherhood, Mom Blogger, Motherhood Blog, Mom Blogger Los Angeles, Los Angeles Mom Los Angeles Mom Blog, Los Angeles Mom Blogger, Motherhood Coaching Coaching LA Motherhood Coaching, Moms Blog, LA Mom Blog, Mommy Blogger, Mom Life, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Los Angeles Parents
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Episode 7 of Belle Maternity | My Perinatal Loss and Rainbow Baby
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Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
18 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠
⁠
In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠
⁠
Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠
⁠
Link in bio to listen!⁠
⁠
#motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠ ⁠ In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠ ⁠ Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠ ⁠ Link in bio to listen!⁠ ⁠ #motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow

Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms…

If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. 

Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. 

One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. 

So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder.

I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. 

#rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
juliebarzman
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•
Follow
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms… If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder. I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. #rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
6 days ago
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4/4

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Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
18 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠
⁠
In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠
⁠
Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠
⁠
Link in bio to listen!⁠
⁠
#motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Episode 7 ✨ BelleMaternity Podcast ⁠ ⁠ In this episode, I share my (and my partner’s) story of loss, grief, and how our third child, Zoe came to be. I share openly, honestly, and truly – some details that I’ve not discussed before here on The Mommy Codes.⁠ ⁠ Follow along, as Jey and I discuss how to navigate through grief, loss, and how to keep on living.⁠ ⁠ Link in bio to listen!⁠ ⁠ #motherhood #candidmotherhood #perinatalloss #griefjourney #themommycodes
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special.

#rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Happy birthday my beautiful girl 🌈 Your brother picked your birthday theme from the day you came home with us, “Mommy, can she have a rainbow birthday?” Yes, darling… She absolutely can 💕 Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and who made her day so very special. #rainbowbaby #happybirthday #oneyearold #babybirthday #babybirthdayparty #rainbowtheme
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow

Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms…

If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. 

Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. 

One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. 

So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder.

I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. 

#rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
March is Rainbow Baby Awareness Month 🌈 and it also happens to be Zozo’s birthday tomorrow Very little people knew I was pregnant with my rainbow baby last year, on this day I was anxiously getting ready to get induced and praying to come home with her in my arms… If I had to describe what she taught me? Stillness in the present moment. Too painful to look back, too uncertain to look forward. I felt like a balloon floating through each moment, supporting my constant “meditative state” - if I’d unravel, I’d notice it was always after getting lost into doing things while putting little thought into it; “coming back” to the present moment as I lost track of time was the most uncomfortable. So many questions rushing through my mind “did she kick?” “When was the last time I felt her” and the anxiety and uncontrollable worries would rise up…I eventually recognized the agonizing pattern and decided to put thought and connection to everything I did, even loading the dishwasher. I was PRESENT. One thing I will tell you, no matter how present you are, bringing home a new baby is life changing and rocks the boat no matter how connected you are to all of your desires and surroundings. You have to learn to appreciate the rocking. I had never been so thankful for sleepless nights that weren’t because of grief; You don’t have to be on the other side to fully appreciate the life experience you are having NOW. It sure “helped” me find joy in things that could’ve easily irritate me but that is in a sense, the dark gift of grief, it will teach you kindness and perspective on how everything is éphémère as we say in French; Short lived. So everything becomes precious. It’s hard to not live on the other side of grief; fear. I will admit I still work on that every day. The fear drives me to love harder…but step by step I am learning to see love to love harder. I love you Zoë. You are fruition of the courage we put into taking a chance despite overwhelming fear… and one year later, with perspective and stillness, I can see clearly the hope you have given all of us. #rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #stillbirthawareness #momanddaughter #momtruth #parentingblogger #oneyearold
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠
⁠
I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠
⁠
Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠
⁠
#whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
juliebarzman
juliebarzman
•
Follow
Here are things that my (new) doctors while pregnant with Zoë taught me and checked for at every visit.💕⁠ ⁠ I am sharing your very own pregnancy checklist because I truly believe that in every tragedy there is an educational side for others to be shared that could make a difference. ⁠ ⁠ Link in bio for more pregnancy tips! ⁠ ⁠ #whattoaskyourdoctor #yourpregnancychecklist #mygriefjourney #stillbirthsurvivor #pregnancytips #losangelesblogger #momcoaching #healthcareadvocate
7 days ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
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